In this episode, I’m sitting down with Emily Chadwick-Vint, the incredible founder of The Goddess Movement. Emily shares her deeply personal journey, from battling body dysmorphia and self-doubt to rediscovering her confidence and embracing her true power.
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In Episode 1, I chat with the amazing Seema Malhotra—businesswoman, mum, and star of The Real Housewives of Cheshire.
Seema candidly shares what it was like growing up caught between two cultures - an Indian, Hindu, Punjabi household and her British upbringing. From arranged marriages and cultural expectations to discovering her passion for fashion, Seema reveals how she navigated identity struggles and defied generational norms to carve out her own path.
We also get into the power of self-worth, the lessons life teaches us through its challenges, and the importance of breaking stereotypes for the next generation. Seema’s story is raw, uplifting, and a testament to creating a life that’s truly yours - no mould required.
Transcript:
I was ashamed of being Indian. It was like living in two worlds. I didn't have an identity. I didn't know who I was. There was one boy in class who would pick on me for the colour of my skin. He would say things like, “Oh, did you not have a wash today?” or, “Oh my God, are you a man or a woman?”
He's so sad, honestly. I wonder what he's doing now.
One night, I was out in a nightclub, and a boy kept saying to me, "Can I buy you a drink?" I realised it was the same boy. I said, "Oh my God, it was you that made me not want to be who I was. You made me feel embarrassed about who I was, and you made my life hell."
And what did he say?
Well, for those that don't know, I’ve been doing The Real Housewives of Cheshire for nearly ten years now.
So how was it when you went to your family and said, “I’ve got this opportunity to join a reality TV show”?
Reality TV was a massive risk, but I think it was the best thing I ever did. I’ve been through a lot. The business I ran for 30 years suddenly stopped, and people would point fingers: “Oh, she’s failed.” But at the same time, I was still filming a reality TV show, and everyone had an opinion. It can take you to a dark place.
But this is the first time—at nearly 53 years of age—that I’ve been able to focus on me. Now, I just want to do things that are right for me. I’ve ticked all the boxes for the family and everyone else. But now, this is Seema’s time.
I'm Lindsey Kane, and welcome to Bedtime Theories. Are you like me at bedtime? Just as you’re about to fall into a deep slumber, all these questions pop into your head: What is life? Why are we here? What’s my purpose? What is happiness, and is it a choice? I’m on a mission to unpick these thoughts and figure out how to live a happy and fulfilled life.
I couldn’t do this alone. I’ve invited some incredible guests—people I’ve watched over the years, looked up to, and thought, How are they doing what they’re doing? They’ll jump into bed with me to explore Bedtime Theories.
Today’s episode is about identity and expectations. We’ve had conversations in the past about your background—being Hindu and from an Indian family—and I wanted to delve into that. What was it like growing up in that culture?
Growing up, it was all about family. I come from an Indian, Hindu, Punjabi family. My dad is one of seven siblings. My aunties, uncles, and their kids would all gather at our house, which was the party house. Everything revolved around food, drink, and togetherness.
I have great memories, but it felt like living in two worlds. At home, there were traditional Indian, Hindu, Punjabi expectations—especially for me as a girl. My brothers got away with murder, but for me, there were academic expectations. They wanted me to be a doctor, solicitor, or lawyer, which I never wanted to be. I’m creative. Fashion was my thing.
I was also expected to learn how to cook and clean because, by the time I turned 21, they planned to arrange a marriage for me. It felt like no matter what I did, my path was already decided. I’d get married, have kids, and that would be it.
It was hard and confusing. I lived in two worlds—the traditional Hindu, Punjabi world and the British one. I was born in Manchester, so I grew up in a Western environment. My friends couldn’t understand why I wasn’t allowed to go out at weekends. If I did, I had to be home by 9 p.m. Tell me, which club even gets going by then? And if I ever went out to a nightclub, my dad would be outside at 11 p.m., saying, “Party’s over, you’re coming home.”
It was embarrassing and hard. I didn’t have an identity. I didn’t know who I was. I was ashamed of being Indian.
I had an arranged marriage. I only met my partner, Sandeep, six times before we married. How do you really get to know someone in six meetings? As a British Asian woman, I felt trapped between two worlds. I didn’t know how to balance being British and Indian.
Did you ever go off the rails, like just rebel completely?
Loads of times. I’d tell my parents I was staying over at a friend’s house, but I’d go out instead. I wanted to be normal and fit in. I drank too much, got hungover, and came home sick. After that, my dad didn’t let me out for a month.
When you’re told you can’t do something, you rebel. That’s human nature. I did loads of things I wasn’t supposed to, but I have no regrets. I just wanted to fit in.
Did you feel embarrassed about your family and the expectations placed on you?
Yes, absolutely. I remember being really ill at school one day, and my mum came to pick me up. She arrived wearing a bright red sari with a big bindi on her forehead. Everyone at the school gates stared and whispered, “Oh my God, there’s a woman who looks like she’s been shot in the head.”
I was mortified. I walked past my mum, pretending I didn’t know her. Now, looking back, I regret it. I should have been proud of my identity, but I wasn’t. I just wanted to fit in.
Back then, in the 80s and 90s, it was tough. I went to a predominantly white school, and there were only four kids of colour, including me and my brother. People just didn’t understand. It wasn’t malice; it was ignorance and a lack of education.
How are you with your boys now? Do you emphasise culture and heritage?
Yes, I want them to be proud of their heritage but also of who they are. I don’t set rigid rules for my boys. They don’t have to have an arranged marriage like I did.
I think 100% that being a mother, a wife, and a businesswoman, along with being on reality TV, there's an expectation to be a certain person. But what really changes things is life itself. Life brings challenges, and that's what's changed me. I've been through a lot in the last couple of years, especially with the transition of a business that I ran for 30 years, which suddenly stopped. But at the same time, I was still filming a reality TV show, where everyone has an opinion. I was in the public eye, with people pointing fingers, but no one knows you better than you do, and no one understands what you're going through or how it can take you to a dark place. For me, all these life challenges have made me so much stronger. It's through that that I’ve found out who I am, what I want, and I’m not scared anymore. People can point fingers and say, "She's failed," but no, I haven't. I ran a business for 30 great years, coming from a working-class family. I used to drive to London in a crappy old white van at 3 a.m., visiting factories and coming back at midnight. I've worked hard and achieved a lot. When I look back, I think, "Wow, I've had a great life!" Now, I want to do what's right for me. I've ticked all the boxes for everyone else, but now, it's my turn.
People assume when I start a business or do certain things that it's Russell funding it, or that it's all about him. It used to really bother me, because I wanted to show that I could do it on my own.
I’ve known you a long time, and I truly believe you and Russell are a team—you're each other's backbone. You both work together and encourage each other. He might be good at something you’re not, but he picks you up when you need it, and that's what it's all about. You two really have something special. I think not many people have that kind of relationship.
You know, many people live life on autopilot. I’ve definitely done that in the past, especially in my 20s and in relationships where I was always trying to be the best for them, but never for myself. But now, I’ve learned to live for me.
I think life experiences shape us. If I hadn’t gone through what I did as a child, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Meeting Sandeep, having the boys, and my business experiences, even doing a reality TV show—all of these have made me who I am today. We are often scared to break out of the mold and do what’s best for us. It’s about finding the courage to break that mold and create your own path.
Does anyone assume things about you, like thinking you’re just a housewife because you're on a TV show? How was it when you first joined the show? Were your family supportive or nervous for you?
I was hesitant when I got asked to do the show. We were at a charity event with the original housewives, and I didn’t even know what it was about. I don’t really watch much TV, so I wasn’t familiar with it. I was told it was about inspirational, aspirational, and empowering women, and that immediately resonated with me. I knew it would be a huge challenge, and some family members wouldn’t be behind me, but I had to do it—for me and for all the British Asian women out there. I wanted to break the mold and show that we can do it too. It was a massive risk, but it ended up being one of the best things I’ve ever done. It gave me a platform to share my story, both for my business and for myself, culturally. I’ve been able to talk about so many taboo subjects, like menopause, which young girls didn’t even know about. They thought it was related to men because of the word "menopause." I had no idea about it either because we’re not taught about it in school, and culturally, women’s issues were always seen as "dirty" or inappropriate to talk about. But when we did a documentary on it, I got my mum involved, and she loved it. She shared how alone she felt, as she couldn’t talk to anyone about it, not even her mother. Now, when she meets with her friends, they openly discuss menopause, periods, and other topics they never would have before.
That's amazing! It’s incredible how that documentary sparked open conversations, even among your mum’s friends.
Yes, I’m really grateful for the show because it gave me the opportunity to use my platform not just for business but for cultural change. For instance, we did a segment on breast screenings. I didn’t realise how many Asian and Black women avoid breast screenings out of embarrassment. But now, my mum and her friends talk openly about topics like periods, menopause, and even relationships. They’ve never had these conversations before, and I think it’s amazing that I was able to help bring that change.
Your voice has really helped open your mum's mind and given her the confidence to speak about these things. It’s fantastic that you’re educating both the younger and older generations.
It’s funny, because even my daughter, who’s eight, has started asking about periods. I recently spoke with some family friends, and their daughter, who’s nine, didn’t know what periods were. Mina asked me, "What are periods? What are tampons?" So I explained it to her in a way that made it less scary. It’s important to have open conversations about these things so there’s no shame attached to it. My mum was always open about it, but I never had those kinds of conversations with my own mum. It's not just a cultural thing—it happens in many British families too. It’s something that needs to change, because not talking about it only perpetuates fear.
It’s crazy to think that in this day and age, kids are still not having these conversations at home.
You’ve spoken a lot today about breaking molds and expectations. How was it when you told your family about your opportunity to join a reality TV show? How did they react? Did they support you, or were they nervous?
For those who don’t know, I’ve been a part of the Real Housewives of Cheshire for nearly 10 years now. I can't believe it’s been that long. It was a shock at first.
You’ve done so well to last this long without killing anyone! Seriously, well done.
You know me—both on and off the show. I think that’s why I’ve lasted so long. I’m just being myself, and people can see through the fake stuff. Being authentic is key, and I think that’s why I’ve been able to stay on the show for so long.
So, now that you’ve given us some background on where you’re at, what’s next for you? Do you have a clear plan, or are you just going with the flow?
This is the first time in my life that I’m focusing on myself. At nearly 53, I’m prioritising me. For so long, I was focused on being a wife, a mother, running businesses, and doing the TV show. But now, it’s about me. I’m on a health and wellness journey, and I’ve teamed up with my good friend Louise, a nutritionist, to help me through what were probably my darkest days. After the business stopped, I felt awful—I couldn’t get out of bed, and I was going through menopause. I’d lost my mojo. But Louise helped me get back on track with healthier choices, exercise, and just making small changes. Together, we created a platform called "Intention," where it’s all about living with good intentions. I want to teach the younger generation, and I want to teach my boys the importance of making good choices.
It’s really hard to talk about things like being mindful or conscious without it sounding a bit cliché, isn’t it? But it’s a real shift. For me, it’s also been about not getting frustrated with people when I do things for them and they don’t reciprocate. That’s something I’m learning to let go of.
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